Parenting & Family

Our 12 year old asked her mother, in front of the relatives, when she's going back to work

mint_lantern_2368

My partner took a planned career break last year. It was discussed, we were both fine with it, and our daughter seemed fine too. On Sunday, at a family lunch with my partner's sisters there, our daughter asked her straight out: 'Amma, when are you going back to office?' The table went quiet. My partner laughed it off, but she was upset on the drive home. I don't know whether our daughter heard something from a relative, or was worried about something, or was just curious. I am also not sure whether I should be the one to bring it up with her, since it is my partner's decision we're talking about.

5 comments

  • pebble_puzzle_8652

    Before talking to your daughter, I would ask your partner how she wants it answered. It is her story, and a 12 year old will notice immediately if the two of you give slightly different versions. In our house questions like this usually turned out to be repeated from somewhere. Children of that age are collecting what adults say about each other.

  • juniper_veranda_6469

    she might just be asking. at 12 they say out loud the thing the whole table was wondering. doesn't mean she meant anything by it.

  • indigo_kettle_9026

    Nowhere near this stage with a 2 year old. But when my partner went part time for a year after he was born, the same question came every visit, from her own parents. At least your daughter asked to her face 🤷

    • lagoon_moon_7881

      When I cut down to part-time advisory work, my grandson asked if I had been fired. Children only understand jobs as full-time or nothing. Your daughter may simply need the in-between explained.

  • moss_bangle_8437

    My daughter started nursery this month and in our joint family I am already being asked when I will stop 'running to office'. The question changes direction depending on who is asking, but someone always asks it. Your daughter has probably heard both versions at these lunches.

  • juniper_trail_5010

    I would separate two possibilities. One, she is worried about something real, money or her mother's mood or what her friends say. Two, she was repeating an adult. These are not the same conversation. Ask her privately, without the relatives, and simply listen to which one it is before explaining anything.

Add a comment

Share what happened for you. Plain text; be kind and specific.

Keep going

Keep reading

More from the parents who were here.