Parenting & Family

Our 10 year old tells his friends my partner 'doesn't do anything' since the career break

basil_badminton_8081

Since my partner's career break began last year, our son has had a parent at home every afternoon. Yesterday I overheard him describe my partner to two friends as 'just stays home, doesn't do anything'. He wasn't being unkind. He seemed to think it was a neutral fact. My partner thought it was funny. I didn't, mostly because the house runs on what my partner does all day, and he clearly sees none of it. What did others do? I don't want to lecture him, but I would like him to understand what an ordinary day at home involves.

5 comments

  • violet_bookmark_8306

    There is probably a gap between what he means and what he's saying. At that age 'doesn't do anything' often just means 'doesn't go to an office'. I would start by asking him what he thinks happens at home while he's at school, before correcting anything. You may get a list that's half right, and that's a better place to start.

  • sunny_compass_4090

    my daughter said something similar about me during a long work-from-home stretch. 'amma just types.' i let her sit through one of my afternoons. she was bored in twenty minutes and never said it again

    • basil_badminton_8081

      An afternoon of watching is a good idea, and probably more convincing than anything I could say. I'll suggest it to my partner. It's their call.

  • olive_tiffin_810

    We have a baby, so I'm nowhere near this stage yet, but the work at home is invisible in our house too and I've thought about it. Could he take on one piece of the day alongside your partner, the grocery run or dinner prep? Children seem to understand work by doing a part of it. Lovely that you noticed and want to say something ❤️

  • rose_pool_4806

    Our daughter says I 'just talk on calls'. Kids judge work by what it looks like 🤷 Arguing didn't help. Giving her one real job at home changed the tone a bit.

    • saffron_tiffin_6962

      Giving them a real job seems to be the common thread in these replies. Did you choose the job for her, or let her pick? I'm wondering what works for a child who resists anything that looks like a chore.

  • fern_gecko_1131

    I'm the one who goes out to work in our house. Our daughter thinks I 'go to meetings and come back'. Not entirely wrong. The description doesn't bother me so much as whether there's contempt in it. Was he being dismissive, or just inaccurate?

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