My 8 pm calls mean my wife does bedtime alone four nights a week

We had the same with my late calls when my son was small. What worked for us was I took the full morning shift, feed, bath, everything, so she could sleep in, and evenings were hers. Not equal by hours ya, but she said it felt fairer than me rushing in for the last ten minutes of bedtime.

With our younger one I put the call on mute and did bedtime with headphones in, camera off. Not proud of it but she slept fine and nobody noticed 😊 Only works if you're not the one presenting

The problem with a rotation is that the calls don't rotate. We ended up with me doing two full nights where I block the calendar no matter what, and the rest are hers with me doing bottles and dishes after. Still not sure it's fair, honestly

my husband had something similar when ours was a baby. the nights weren't the hard part for me, it was that it felt assumed. once he started saying out loud which nights were his it bothered me less, even when the number didn't change much

We considered a weekly rotation and decided against it, because my incident duty is unpredictable. Instead each of us has two fixed evenings off that the other covers regardless of work, and I move calls around those. I would separate fairness in hours from whether your wife gets any evenings to herself, since those may need different fixes.

Arre we tried a fixed weekly chart, names against nights, stuck on the fridge. Lasted about three weeks before work broke it. What stayed was one rule only, if I miss bedtime I do the 2 am wake up that night. That one is still going.

👍

Can the calls move earlier?

💯

You said you can move one call. Move it, then ask your wife which night she wants it to be. A rotation you design alone is just a schedule she has to accept.