School & Teens

Class 1 has a star chart for good behaviour. My son hasn't had a star in two weeks

amber_wave_989

His class teacher started a behaviour chart at the beginning of August. Stars for sitting quietly, finishing work, lining up properly. Our son comes home and reports who got stars that day, and in two weeks he has not had one. He says it in a flat voice, as if it is just a fact about the world. He is not a difficult child at home, though he is busy and talks a lot. Our caregiver says the same. We have had no complaint from the school, which almost makes it more confusing. Do I raise this with the teacher, and if so, how, without sounding like a parent who wants a star for his son?

6 comments

  • pebble_fern_7907

    Before speaking to the teacher, I would find out what he thinks a star is given for. Our daughter believed for a whole term that stars went to the quietest children, so she had stopped trying, because she knew she could not win that one. The real criteria were broader. Children often build their own explanation.

  • silver_kettle_7192

    As a teacher: is the chart public, up on the wall? And is it daily or does it reset weekly? Makes a difference to how much it stings.

    • amber_wave_989

      On the wall, by the door, so the children see it as they leave. It resets on Mondays. He has told us exactly where his name is: bottom row, on the left.

    • amber_wave_989

      My partner spoke to the teacher at drop-off this morning. She was surprised, says he is doing well and she had not noticed the gap, and has promised to look at it. I am still not sure a chart like that suits a child like him, but at least it has been noticed.

  • linen_piano_7126

    What does 'busy' mean here? If the stars are for sitting still and he can't, the chart is just measuring that. Ask what specifically would earn one.

  • ochre_chai_9692

    I'm not a fan of these charts at six. In my son's class 1 the same five kids got stars all year, and everyone knew who they'd be by week three. Didn't do him any harm long term, but I wish I'd asked the teacher to tell me privately what he did well each week instead. That's what we did in class 2.

  • maple_trail_727

    With our son, notes about sitting still came regularly till about class 3 and then faded. A fortnight is too short to read much into. If it continues past the first term, a conversation with the teacher about what she sees in class would be more useful than discussing the chart itself.

    • ochre_compass_6190

      For us it did not fade. My son is 9 now and the school still sends a complaint almost every week. Now they are saying to get an assessment done. One thing I would say: ask the teacher early what exactly she sees, and write it down. We waited, thinking he will grow out of it, and now when the doctor asks for examples I have nothing clear to tell.

  • ivory_spoon_8503

    Our son is in class 1 too and came home with a similar report about stars, except his complaint is that the girls get them all 😄 I do think some of these charts favour the kids who are naturally quiet. That said, your son knowing exactly where his name sits on the chart tells you it matters to him. I'd mention it to the teacher. Once.

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