Do you still message the other parent before your 13 year old goes over, or is that embarrassing now?

ochre_chai_969230 Oct 2026

Son has been invited to a new friend's house on Saturday afternoon. Football friend, met him twice, seems like a nice kid. I don't know the parents at all. Last time I asked for a friend's mother's number he acted like I'd posted his baby photos in the class group. But I also don't want to send him into a house where I don't even know if an adult is home. What do other parents of 12-14 year olds do? Message, call, drop him at the door, nothing?

1 comment

maple_balcony_814530 Oct 2026
What we settled on with our 13 year old: I don't need to talk to the parent, but I need the address and to know an adult will be home. He messages when he reaches and when he leaves. For a first visit to a new friend I do the drop myself and say hello at the door, two minutes, then go. He complained the first couple of times. Now he doesn't seem to notice. The tradeoff is that I sometimes take his word on the adult part, and I haven't found a way around that.
- ochre_chai_969230 Oct 2026
  The door drop is fair, this one is across the flyover so I'd be driving him anyway. Address and the reached/leaving message I can sell to him. The 'adult will be home' part is where I get stuck too though. If I'm only taking his word for it, is it really a check? 😅 Might just ask the friend's mother on Saturday at the door and live with the eye-roll.