4 year old wants to stay the night at her cousins' over the festival. Too soon?

moss_kettle_125118 Oct 2026

Her cousins live about 15 minutes from us, two girls of 7 and 9, and my daughter adores them. She has asked to sleep over there one night during the holidays, without us. She has never slept anywhere without one of us. She's confident during the day but bedtime is still a whole routine. Their parents are relaxed about it. My partner thinks she'll call at 10 pm in tears. I think she might surprise us. Did you let a 4 year old do a first night away with family? What did you do to get her ready for it?

2 comments

citrus_pebble_694118 Oct 2026
Ours is 3 and I'd be the one calling at 10 pm, not her. What we did for a nap at a friend's place (not overnight) was send her own pillow and the book we read every night. She barely looked at us when we left. If it goes well, you get a free evening. If not, 15 minutes is a short drive ❤️
- maple_fern_847018 Oct 2026
  The pillow idea is a good one. Our son is one and his grandmother has already started asking when he can stay over. Coming back to this thread in a couple of years.
cobalt_wave_22518 Oct 2026
We did my daughter's first night away at my sister's when she was about 5. What helped: a bedtime video call was agreed beforehand, and we told her clearly she could come home any time, even at night, and nobody would tease her. She didn't need it. The first time we skipped the bedtime call was much harder for me than for her.
- amber_camera_673618 Oct 2026
  Did the video call help her settle, or make her miss you more? With my son, seeing us on screen made him want to come home.