15 year old niece is staying for two weeks, and the 9 year old now wants her bedtime

linen_drum_92073 Jun 2026

My niece (15) is with us for the last stretch of the holidays. She's lovely, but she's on her phone till past midnight and sleeps till 11, and my nephew, who I look after and who is 9, has noticed every minute of it. Now every night is 'but akka is still awake'. I don't want to police a 15 year old who isn't mine for two weeks. I also don't want his routine wrecked right before school reopens. Where would you draw the line?

4 comments

fig_spoon_2703 Jun 2026
Different ages, different bedtimes is a perfectly fair answer for a 9 year old. Ours hears it about his older cousins all the time. What helped us was giving him something that's only his at that hour, a book or a torch under the sheet, so going to bed doesn't feel like being sent away while the fun carries on.
- sage_drum_22053 Jun 2026
  The torch idea is good. As an aunt doing the same job, I'd add one thing: ask your niece's parents what her rules are at home and say those out loud. Then the 15 year old is following her own parents' rule, not yours, and the 9 year old sees that each child's rules come from that child's parents. Saves you being the bad guy in both directions.
ochre_drum_91393 Jun 2026
I'm the older brother of a 14 year old, so I've seen this from the other side. She follows a rule if it's clearly the house rule and applies to everyone, and argues with anything that looks made up for her alone. You could try phones charging in the hall after a fixed hour, for the whole house. Whether a 15 year old guest accepts that, I can't say from experience. My sister mostly does when it's framed that way.
saffron_notebook_32323 Jun 2026
Give the 15 yr old a small job at his bedtime, reading to him or setting his alarm. Teenagers like being the senior one. Then 'akka is awake' becomes 'akka put me to bed'.
tawny_swing_724 Jun 2026
Two days on, has the bedtime held? Our 8 year old had his older cousins from Pune with us in May, and it took a full week after they left to get him sleeping by 9.30 again. I'd expect a bit of that after she goes, whatever you decide now.