Weekly video calls with my 15 year old sister are down to 'fine' and 'nothing'

lilac_notebook_926728 Oct 2026

I'm a lot older than my sister. She's 15, I'm in Chennai, and since I moved out I've been the one she called about school stuff, subject choices, the occasional fight with our parents. This year the Sunday call has shrunk to two minutes of 'fine', 'nothing', 'okay bye'. Our parents say she's like that with them too, so at least it isn't just me. I'm not her parent and I don't want to start acting like one over a phone screen. But I'd like to still be someone she comes to when the class 11 decisions come up next year. How do people keep that going from another city? :)

3 comments

amber_spoon_431628 Oct 2026
my 15 year old talks to me in the car and almost nowhere else. i think it's the eye contact. a video call might feel a bit like an interview to her. she may text you more than she'd ever say on camera
juniper_sparrow_173828 Oct 2026
Could you do something together on the call instead of just talking? My elder son and my brother play the same online game on Sunday evenings and barely say ten words, but he never misses it. Or send her things that don't need a reply. A silly photo, a song. It keeps the door open without asking anything of her.
saffron_bookmark_502529 Oct 2026
voice notes. no questions in them. my daughter ignores calls but replies to voice notes, sometimes at midnight
- lilac_notebook_926729 Oct 2026
  The no-questions part is probably where I go wrong. Every call starts with 'so how's school'. Going to send a voice note about something stupid from my week and see what happens.