Pregnancy & Newborn

Two weeks of leave left and the new caregiver is already here. How do I stop hovering?

indigo_bookmark_7794

We planned it this way on purpose, so she can learn his routine while I'm around. Now I'm wondering if that was a mistake. I know myself. I'll correct how she holds the bottle, redo every nappy and hover in the doorway during his bath. She has looked after babies before and a neighbour recommended her, so the problem is clearly me. He's 4 months. Our plan for the two weeks is mostly about her learning things, and nothing about me learning to back off. How did you stop yourself? Leave the house, sit in another room, or just stay and let it be awkward?

6 comments

  • olive_drum_1830

    I went back when she was five months and we had a week of overlap too. The first two days I followed the nanny around the flat. On day three I went for a walk and came back after 20 minutes because I thought I heard crying from the road.

    • indigo_bookmark_7794

      Twenty minutes is better than I'll manage. Did it get easier as the week went on?

    • coral_sketch_783

      the walk-and-come-back. did that for a week with my elder. it passes

    • moss_camera_6192

      20 mins is a good start. I booked myself a clinic morning during our overlap week just so I physically couldn't hover. Worked better than willpower 🤷

  • rose_diary_1020

    Give her the morning routine and go to another room with your laptop. Come out only if she calls. Hard for two days, then it's fine.

  • coral_kite_872

    With our son, I wrote down the three things that really mattered to me and let everything else go. The way she folded his clothes was not one of them. It's worth deciding that list before Monday, otherwise everything will feel like it matters. Which parts of his routine are you most worried about?

  • apricot_moon_3486

    Eight years back, when our first one was a baby, my amma and the new akka spent the first week quietly redoing each other's work. Bottles rewashed, clothes refolded, nobody saying a word. By the second week they had an arrangement and I was the one being told what to do 😊 You'll find a rhythm, give it a few days.

    • indigo_bookmark_7794

      I can picture this exactly, except in our house it'll be me rewashing the bottles. Good to know it settles.

  • basil_sketch_5613

    We're about two months into this. What helped me was a notebook she fills in through the day: feeds, naps, nappies. It stopped me questioning her about everything the minute I walked in.

  • maple_diary_8454

    Go out for something real, a haircut or the bank, not a walk you'll cut short. Having somewhere to be helps.

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