She begged to join the school choir in June. Three weeks in, she wants out

sage_trail_37899 Jul 2026

Our older one is 10 and in class 5. She talked about the choir all summer, auditioned in the first week and got in. Practice is twice a week after school. Now she says it's boring, the songs are 'for babies', and her friend didn't get in, so she stands alone. She wants to quit before the Independence Day programme. My partner says she finishes the term because she made a commitment. I'm less sure. Three weeks of being bored and on her own is not nothing at 10. Where do you draw the line between teaching them to stick with things and keeping them miserable on principle?

5 comments

mellow_rain_90729 Jul 2026
Our daughter did this with the school band when she was ten or so. We agreed she would stay until the first performance and then decide, and that we wouldn't argue with whatever she decided after that. She left after the performance. I think the fixed end point mattered more than the outcome. Is the friend part the bigger problem, do you think, or the music?
linen_drum_92079 Jul 2026
As a teacher I'll say gently that 'the songs are for babies' and 'my friend didn't get in' are two very different complaints, and the second usually fades once they make a choir friend. Three weeks is early for that. I'd push for the programme and revisit after 🙂
- juniper_compass_866011 Jul 2026
  The choir friend thing is so true. My daughter nearly quit swimming for the same reason, and now the pool friend is her closest friend. There was a lot of crying before that happened, I'll admit.
rose_puzzle_2949 Jul 2026
mine are younger so take this lightly, but our rule is you finish what's been paid for and then you can stop. no arguments mid-term. it has saved me a lot of evenings
maple_notebook_96039 Jul 2026
Standing alone twice a week would bother me more than the boredom. Could you ask the teacher whether she can be placed next to someone? Small thing, but it might change how it feels for her.
hazel_river_970810 Jul 2026
Let her finish the programme. Performing once might change her mind. If it doesn't, she stops, no drama.