Our 8 month old reaches for the part-time helper over his full-time caregiver, and she's noticed

quiet_bottle_438529 Jul 2026

Our caregiver is with him from nine to six. She feeds him, changes him, puts him down for naps and knows his moods better than anyone. The helper comes for two hours in the afternoon to clean and cook. For the last two weeks, the moment the helper walks in, he lunges for her and laughs at everything she does. The caregiver has started making small comments about it. I don't want her to feel she's doing something wrong, because she isn't. Has anyone had a baby pick a favourite among the people looking after him, and did it cause friction at home?

3 comments

ivory_window_777829 Jul 2026
It moves around at that age. Our daughter went to whoever happened to be most entertaining that month. One month it was my mother, then the watchman, then briefly a neighbour's dog. I wouldn't read anything lasting into it.
saffron_tiffin_872429 Jul 2026
The helper is the novelty. She arrives, plays for a few minutes and leaves before any of the hard parts. The caregiver does the nappies and the naps, so she's ordinary to him. I'd make sure the caregiver gets some pure play time with him that isn't squeezed between chores.
- quiet_bottle_438529 Jul 2026
  She does get play time with him, a fair amount. I think what bothers her is that he does it in front of me, and she worries I'll draw conclusions. How do I tell her it's fine without it sounding like I'm comparing the two of them?
- breezy_fern_186729 Jul 2026
  Replying to @quiet_bottle_4385
  Tell her plainly, and tell her the true part: he does exactly the same to you. Every baby turns away from the person they're most sure of when something new comes in. Said once, kindly, it usually lands.
- umber_river_332530 Jul 2026
  Replying to @quiet_bottle_4385
  My son did this with my brother when he stayed with us for a month. It lasted about three weeks after he left. Mentioning that to our nanny helped.
dusk_river_393229 Jul 2026
Grandmothers get this treatment too, I promise. My grandson ignored me for the entire summer he was one and went to my driver every morning with his arms out. I survived. It passed.