How do we bring up daycare for our toddler when family lives with us and looks after her?

We did this when our son was small and my mother was staying with us. What worked was asking her opinion first instead of announcing a decision. She looked at two daycares with us and it became partly her idea.

Make it about what the child needs, not what the adult can or can't do. 'She wants other kids around' is hard to argue with, and at that age it's true.

A caution from someone whose daughter is in daycare: the first two months she was ill every other week. Your family member may end up doing more sick-day care for a while, not less. Say that up front so nobody thinks the plan has failed when it happens.

Fellow eye doctor. Half-day near the clinic is sensible, you can do pickup between lists. You could also say it's for the evenings: a rested adult at 6 pm is worth more to her than a tired one all day.

Speaking as the grandparent in this arrangement at our house: I'd have been relieved, though I might not have said so. Just make sure the mornings or evenings with her stay with whoever has been caring for her. That's the part that would hurt to lose.

Ours started daycare at 9 months. For the first two weeks it was only two hours a day, and someone from home could stay for the first few days. Does your daycare allow that? It could be a nice way to involve your family member in the settling in.

One practical point. We looked at daycares a few weeks ago for later on, and both wanted children to join at the start of a month and charged the full month either way. Worth checking before you discuss dates at home.