Every weekend since he was born, someone arrives. Usually right around his nap. They stay for lunch. I'm back at work in two months and Sundays will be the only full day I get with him. I want visits by arrangement only. "Please call before you come" has already been tried and ignored. How did you put it so that it stuck, without a family war?
Years ago, I was that relative. Nobody told us, so we kept coming. When my son finally said "Sunday mornings don't work, come Saturday after 4", we came Saturday after 4. Give them a slot, not only a no.
When our daughter was born we put one message in the family group, from both of us: visits on Saturday afternoons, please message the day before. My partner sent it, which helped, because it didn't read as me being difficult. The one aunt who tested it got a polite "he's sleeping, come back at 4" at the door. It took about a month to settle.
Sending it myself is the problem. Half of them will reply to me privately to argue. But a fixed slot plus photos is something I can work with. Saturday 4 to 6 it is.
As a grandparent: most of us come because we are afraid of missing these months, not to be a nuisance. A fixed time we can count on makes it easier to stay away the rest of the week. If you can, send a photo or a short video now and then. It reduces the urge to drive over.
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