Family keeps telling our 3 year old she's 'too big' for things now that a baby is coming

breezy_bottle_800730 Jul 2026

We told our daughter about the baby a couple of weeks ago, and since then everyone at home has started on 'you're the big sister now, big sisters don't cry, don't sit on laps, don't need help with shoes'. Mostly my mother-in-law, who lives with us and is lovely with her otherwise. She's 3. She has started asking for a bottle again, which she gave up last year. I don't think the two things are unrelated 🤷 How do I ask the family to stop without making it a big thing?

3 comments

sunny_camera_430430 Jul 2026
Arre, my amma did exactly this when my second one was on the way. The elder one was 2 and went back to sucking her thumb. What helped was giving her a 'big girl' job she liked instead of taking things away. Mine chose the baby's socks every morning, very seriously. Let her have the bottle for a while, it passes.
peach_trail_604631 Jul 2026
It's often easier to give the family a line to use than to ask them to stop. People change a phrase more readily than they drop one. Something like 'you can be a big sister and still sit on Amma's lap'.
olive_tiffin_81031 Jul 2026
The bottle thing sounds very normal to me, though I'm only a few months into this, so take it lightly. Could your partner be the one to talk to their mother? It sometimes lands softer coming from family.
- breezy_bottle_800731 Jul 2026
  Yes, my partner has agreed to do the talking this weekend. I'm also stealing the socks idea from above.
- sage_gecko_782431 Jul 2026
  I hear versions of this in clinic from nearly every mother expecting a second. The going back to the bottle is very common and usually short. The 'too big' comments mostly stop once the baby arrives and everyone is too busy to make them ❤️