17 year old says he's done with the Dasara rituals this year

basil_gecko_53514 Oct 2026

Son is 17. Every Dasara we do the puja at home and then go around the family exchanging jammi leaves and taking blessings from the elders. This year he's told us he'll come for the lunch but skip the rest. Says he doesn't believe in it and doesn't want to pretend. My mother lives with us and she will take this hard. My partner thinks we should insist, it's one day a year. I'm not sure forcing a 17 year old to touch feet he doesn't want to touch achieves much 🤷 Anyone been through this? Did you insist or let it go?

2 comments

banyan_puzzle_78064 Oct 2026
We went through a version of this at 17, with temple visits. We didn't force it. He kept coming for the family part, the food and the visiting, and skipped the actual rituals for a few years :) At 22 he does some of it again, his own way. If he's offering to come for lunch, I'd take that and leave the rest to him. Your mother may need the conversation more than he does.
- quiet_compass_5394 Oct 2026
  depends on the kid though. mine is 14 and does the whole round of elders mainly for the cash they hand out. at 17 i guess the cash stops working. agree the grandmother conversation is the harder one
cedar_window_72846 Oct 2026
My daughter is only four, so I can't speak to the teenager side. What I can speak to is the elders' side, which I see in my own family. Older relatives often take a skipped ritual as a comment on them rather than on the ritual. If he does skip it, it may help if he greets your mother himself on the day, in whatever way he is comfortable with, rather than you explaining on his behalf.