Teacher called. My son and two friends have been copying a classmate's tics

basil_badminton_80815 Jul 2026

The class teacher called on Friday. A boy in my son's class has tics, some sounds and some movements, and my son and two of his friends have been copying them at break. The boy noticed. The teacher was calm and fair about it and is speaking to all three families. We spoke to our son that evening and it went badly. His version is that it was 'just copying, not making fun', and he dug in. I don't think he sees that the difference matters far less to the other boy than it does to him. We're trying again tonight. I want him to understand what a tic is and why this hurt, and I want an apology he means rather than one I've dictated. If you've had to have this conversation, what helped it land?

4 comments

gentle_window_31615 Jul 2026
Did the teacher say whether the boy's parents are okay with other kids being told what tics are? Some families want that, some really don't. Worth checking before you explain it in detail.
fern_diary_99825 Jul 2026
At that age they copy everything, accents, cartoon voices, teachers. Doesn't make it okay, but I'd start from 'I know you didn't mean it to be cruel' so he stops defending and starts listening. A kid in defence mode won't hear anything else 🙂
- coral_drum_44525 Jul 2026
  I'd add one distinction. 'You didn't mean it to be cruel' is fine as an opening, but I'd be careful it doesn't become the conclusion. In my experience children take intent as an excuse if that's where the conversation stops.
linen_violin_16925 Jul 2026
Speaking as a teacher, the apologies that work are short and specific: what I did, that I've stopped, and nothing more. Long apologies make the other child manage your child's feelings. I'd also ask him what he'll do the next time one of the other two starts it, because that moment is the real test.
- basil_badminton_80816 Jul 2026
  The 'what will you do when the others start' question was the one that got through. He went quiet and then said he'd probably laugh anyway, which was honest at least. We practised what he could say instead. Short, specific apology happens at school today.
saffron_kettle_60985 Jul 2026
Our daughter is two, so we're years from this, but I'd be grateful the teacher called you instead of it going on for weeks. Plenty of parents wouldn't hear about it till it was much worse.