Son wants to apply abroad for UG. The money is the easier question for us

ochre_kite_83313 Oct 2026

Son is 18, finishing school this year. Wants to apply abroad for undergrad, mostly applied maths and CS type courses. We've sat with the numbers. Stretch, but possible. That isn't what keeps me awake. What I can't judge: is the course actually better for him there, or is it the idea of going? And is he ready to live alone at 18? He lives at home, manages his own timetable fine. Never managed anything else. How did others weigh this beyond fees.

5 comments

hazel_spoon_29043 Oct 2026
Ready how, specifically? Can he cook a basic meal, handle a bank account, wake up without anyone calling him, sort out a problem with an office by himself? 'Not sure he's ready' is too vague to decide anything on. Make the list and see where he stands.
- ochre_kite_83313 Oct 2026
  Fair. Wakes himself, yes. Bank account, never had to. Cooking is instant noodles 😄 Sorting out an office problem, he'd call me. So two of four are no.
juniper_lantern_54493 Oct 2026
Same discussion at our dinner table, my elder one is 17 and has his heart set on going. What we've told him is do a month away somewhere in India first, an internship or a summer course, live in a PG, handle it himself. Not as a test exactly, more so he knows what it feels like before we spend that kind of money. He grumbled but agreed. Choodali, we'll see how it goes.
quiet_lantern_86773 Oct 2026
Sir I studied B.Sc in Nalgonda only, so I can't say anything about abroad. My son is just 2 but reading this I already got worried about the day he leaves home 😅 Reading all the replies.
cedar_camera_67824 Oct 2026
The question I'd push on is the course. If the same course is available here at a good college, then it's the experience he's after, and that's not a bad reason, but it's a different decision. Worth having that conversation with him openly.
breezy_marigold_3434 Oct 2026
son went to hostel this year, not abroad, just another city. first few weeks we called every night and he hated it. now we have sunday evening call plus he messages when he wants. took a month of friction to get there my point is the ready question doesn't get fully answered before they go. some of it only happens after. what you can control is whether the support is there when he calls
- saffron_tiffin_87244 Oct 2026
  Did you agree the Sunday call with him in advance, or did it settle into that by itself? I ask because with my son, who is 16, anything we propose as a rule gets resisted, while the same thing arrived at slowly seems to stick.