Preschool calls my partner first, even on the days I'm the one covering the kids

banyan_diary_719015 Oct 2026

We have two daughters, 3 and 2, at the same preschool. My partner and I alternate office days, so on my days I'm the one who can leave for a fever or a forgotten bag. Both our numbers are on the form, mine first on my days. The staff know our arrangement. Still, almost every call goes to my partner. They then message me, I call the preschool, and we lose twenty minutes passing it along. It's not a crisis, just a small daily irritation. Is this something other parents have managed to change, or do preschools just default to one number no matter what you tell them?

3 comments

banyan_camera_40615 Oct 2026
Did they actually change the order on the form? Ours had me down as 'mother', first by default, for years 🤷 until I crossed it out myself.
- hazel_river_521515 Oct 2026
  The form isn't always the problem. Ours had me first and the daycare still phoned my partner, because my partner is the one who does most of the pickups. Habit seems to count for more than the form.
pebble_moon_681516 Oct 2026
We had something similar with our son's school. What helped was a short written note each Monday in the class diary: 'Mon, Wed, Fri, please call father first.' The staff on the floor change often, so a form filled once in June doesn't reach whoever picks up the phone.
- lemon_balcony_964117 Oct 2026
  a weekly note is smart. our daycare sends 30 photos a day to both of us but only ever calls me. same problem, different flavour 😅
bronze_pigeon_347419 Oct 2026
I can only speak from our own experience, which is now quite old. The calls followed whoever the staff saw at the gate most often. Changing the paperwork made no difference. When my partner started doing pickup three days a week, the calls shifted within a month.