Parenting & Family

Our son wants to know exactly what I earn, so he can plan for college

gentle_compass_357

He's going into class 12 and asked at dinner, quite calmly, in front of his sister. His reasoning: college applications are next year, his friends are already talking about fees, and he wants to know what's realistic instead of guessing. My first instinct was to deflect. We grew up never knowing what our parents earned, and I'm not sure I want our 11 year old repeating the number at school. On the other hand, he is not wrong that it affects his choices. Did you tell your teenagers, and if so, the exact figure or just a range?

3 comments

  • ivory_window_7778

    We told our daughter a range at about the same age, along with what we had set aside for her education specifically. The second number turned out to be the one she cared about. The salary on its own meant very little to her once she saw rent, fees and everything else next to it.

  • cobalt_lantern_6412

    Ours are younger, so I haven't faced the exact figure yet. I would separate the two conversations, though. The college budget is something he can be part of now. The salary can wait until his sister is old enough not to repeat it.

    • gentle_compass_357

      That separation helps. The budget is really what he's asking about. I'll take him through it this weekend, without his sister at the table.

  • moss_pool_8254

    My parents never told us anything, and I found out what my father earned from a scholarship form I filled in at 17. I remember being angry that I'd been turning down things we could have afforded. I'd lean towards telling him something real.

    • mango_camera_7344

      Opposite for me. I found out it was less than I'd assumed, and felt bad about every coaching class I'd asked for. Either way, better he hears it from you.

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