Our 16 year old wants her own debit card. I can't settle on a limit, or whether to look at it

sage_paper_22196 Jul 2026

Our daughter is going into her final IB year and wants a bank account and card of her own instead of asking us every time she needs to pay for something. Most of her friends have one, she says. Banks offer accounts for minors with a parent attached, so that part is easy. What I'm stuck on is how much to put in and whether to watch it. If I check every transaction, it isn't really hers. If I don't, I find out about the café habit three months later. My partner wants a monthly amount and no checking. I'd like to see the statement, at least for the first few months. I can argue either side, so for now nothing has happened and she's still borrowing my card.

4 comments

violet_violin_15706 Jul 2026
statement for 3 months, then let go. tell her the date you'll stop looking, so it doesn't feel like forever 😄
- sage_paper_22196 Jul 2026
  A fixed end date is a sensible middle point. My partner may agree to that more easily than to 'for a while'.
linen_drum_92076 Jul 2026
Half my DP students already pay for everything by UPI, some with cards their parents know very little about. The ones who struggle with money in the first year away are usually the ones who never handled any before. I'd worry less about the café and more about whether she can tell you what's in the account without checking.
indigo_diary_39947 Jul 2026
my sister gave her son a card at 16 with an alert on her phone for anything over a set amount. he knew about the alert so it never felt like spying. mine is 11 and already asking
basil_balcony_16988 Jul 2026
I got my first account only at 18, for scholarship money in college. First month I spent it all on a phone and had to call my father. Wish I had practised with small amounts before that. Let her make the small mistakes now.