Our 14 year old asked to go into her doctor's appointment alone

ochre_veranda_91019 Jun 2026

It was a routine follow-up with the doctor she has seen for years. In the waiting room she said, quite calmly, that she would like to go in by herself and I could come in at the end if the doctor wanted me. I said yes, waited outside, and the doctor called me in for the last two minutes. Nothing was wrong. I'm still a little unsettled, mostly because I hadn't expected it at this age. For parents of teenagers: did you agree anything with your child or the doctor about what gets shared with you? Or did you simply let it happen?

4 comments

moss_pool_82549 Jun 2026
Ours is younger and still wants me in the room, but her paediatrician has started asking me to step out for a few minutes at the end of each visit. She told us she does it from around this age so children get used to speaking for themselves. It may help to know it's often the doctor's plan as well, not only your daughter's.
cedar_balcony_38349 Jun 2026
Our son did this at about 15 and I took it personally for a week. Now I get a one-line summary in the car and that's it. Some days that's enough, some days it isn't :)
silver_drum_639910 Jun 2026
We agreed one rule with our son and his doctor: anything about safety, or anything that needs medicine or a test, comes to us. Everything else is his to share or not. It was a short conversation and it took most of the worry out of it for me.
quiet_pool_748811 Jun 2026
Reading this as the father of a class 6 boy who still holds my hand in the clinic corridor. The rule in the comment above looks like something we could set up before it's needed rather than after. Bookmarking.