My daughter would rather I skip her show than leave halfway for a call

plum_kettle_342621 May 2026

She has spent four weeks of the holidays in a theatre workshop, and the final performance is next Saturday evening. I'm on call that weekend. Swapping isn't possible this late, so I told her I'd come and keep my phone on vibrate. She thought about it and said she'd prefer I didn't come at all. Last year I left her school annual day in the middle of her group's piece, and she says watching my seat go empty was worse than not having me there. She wasn't angry when she said it, which somehow made it harder. My partner can go and record it. But I can't tell whether to respect what she's asked or keep trying to be there. What would you do?

3 comments

banyan_sketch_774221 May 2026
Could you sit somewhere she can't see from the stage? At our school's shows we suggest that parents who may be called away take an end seat at the back, so a quiet exit doesn't register with the children. Then tell her plainly that's the plan, and that if you go, it isn't a choice. She's told you exactly what hurt, which says a lot about how much she trusts you ❤
- silver_drum_639922 May 2026
  The back-row idea is good. I'd add one thing: ask her whether she wants to know you're there at all. My son preferred not to know until afterwards, so he wasn't scanning the hall for me between scenes.
rose_drum_698921 May 2026
I'd take her at her word. At that age she has probably thought it through more than we give her credit for. Let your partner record it, then take her out the next day and watch it together with her doing the commentary. My daughter liked that better than having us in the audience.
indigo_drum_731621 May 2026
Been on both sides of this. The calls never come when you plan for them. I'd go, sit at the back, and accept I might miss the end. But I'd also tell her she can change her mind any time before Saturday.