Every visit this festival month ends with 'say that rhyme' or 'show us the annual day dance'. Last year she did it happily. This year she goes behind the curtain. So I've started answering for her: 'not today'. My partner thinks I'm making a scene in front of elders. I watch children perform on cue at school all week. I don't want her doing it at home on demand. Am I overdoing it?
We let our son skip it from about six. He started performing again at nine, on his own, mostly to annoy his cousins. I don't think saying 'not today' did him any harm.
I'd separate two things: whether she performs, and who decides. Saying 'not today' on her behalf is still deciding for her. Could she be the one who says it, with you backing her up?
Replying to @violet_sketch_9451
In theory, yes. In practice a five year old behind a curtain with eight adults looking at her is not going to say anything. Someone has to speak first. I don't see a clean answer.
Replying to @violet_sketch_9451
we taught the little one one line, 'i'll show you later'. later never comes and everyone forgets. works fine
Noted. I'll deal with the revenge performances when they arrive.
relatives at our place ask my 3 yr old for twinkle twinkle. he does baa baa black sheep instead. every single time. they've stopped asking
My parents in Bhubaneswar ask my son to recite something on every video call. He is six and has started saying 'network problem' and walking away from the phone. I can't decide whether to stop it or laugh.
Keep going
More from the parents who were here.