Leaving early for a school thing. Do you tell your team the real reason?

umber_river_3325

Class 1 has a parent orientation on a Thursday at 2. My partner can't move a lab slot, so it's me. I usually block my calendar as 'personal' and say nothing. One colleague says I should write 'school orientation' because it normalises it. Another says the moment you mention school, people start assuming you're less available. What do you do?

6 comments

  • plum_badminton_1718

    i'm a teacher, so school is the only reason anyone leaves early in my staffroom. nobody blinks. different world, i know

  • orchid_compass_8144

    I've started writing 'daughter's doctor visit' or 'daycare meeting' in the calendar, on purpose. I'm the one who handles these at home, and I'd like the younger dads on my team to see it's fine to say so. Nobody has treated me differently for it, that I've noticed.

    • linen_compass_955

      Glad it works for you. When I wrote 'daycare meeting' once, I was asked in my next review whether I could still manage the travel. Same kind of office, different response for a mother, I think. I write 'personal' now.

  • pebble_puzzle_4142

    'Personal' every time, for me. Not because school is a secret, more that once you explain one, you're expected to explain all of them 🙂

    • umber_river_3325

      That's my worry too. The one time I wrote 'parent meeting', I got asked about it in standup.

    • mellow_fern_3184

      Replying to @umber_river_3325

      asked in standup is too much. i'd say 'family thing' and move on, people stop asking after the second time

  • citrus_paper_3966

    My research sessions are booked with participants, so I can't just vanish. I tell the team 'daycare pickup' with the time, so they know when not to book me. I'd rather they know the real constraint than guess.

  • bronze_balcony_7511

    In academia nobody asks, which is the one good thing about it. My students only notice when I cancel office hours. Then they assume I'm at a conference.

  • cobalt_paper_1289

    From inside a school: orientations end up at 2 because it's the only slot the teachers have, not to annoy working parents. Whatever you put in your calendar, ask the school whether there's a second session or the slides afterwards.

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