Four years of hostel, and now our daughter calls our flat 'your house'

willow_compass_226916 Jun 2026

She finished her final semester in May and has been home since. Everything is fine, she helps, she's good company, we're enjoying having her. But she keeps saying things like 'I'll leave my bag at your house' when she goes out with friends, or 'your house has better wifi than the hostel'. It shouldn't bother me, and I know it's just how she thinks of the place after four years away. My partner finds it funny. I keep wondering if there's anything we can do to make it feel like her home again, or if that's simply over and I should get used to it.

1 comment

hazel_kettle_591716 Jun 2026
I did exactly this to my parents after my engineering hostel years, and I remember my mother going quiet the first time. It wasn't a statement. The hostel had become the place where my things were, and home was where my parents' things were. Once I had my own shelf and my own way of doing things in that house again, I stopped saying it. Maybe give her one corner that's fully hers to rearrange?
- peach_tiffin_291416 Jun 2026
  This made me think of my 3 year old, who calls her preschool 'my school' and our flat 'Amma's house'. Apparently it starts early ❤️ The shelf idea is lovely though. Something that's hers to arrange is probably the whole point at any age.
- willow_compass_226916 Jun 2026
  Replying to @peach_tiffin_2914
  The shelf is a good thought. Her old room has quietly become where the ironing goes, which I hadn't noticed until reading this. Clearing it this weekend and letting her decide what goes back in.