Eight months and she now screams when her grandfather picks her up

mellow_river_769716 Jul 2026

Until a few weeks ago my father-in-law could carry our daughter around the building for an hour and she would happily look at everything. Now she cries the moment he reaches for her, and calms down only when I take her back. He is putting a brave face on it, but I can see he is hurt, and my mother-in-law has started hinting that he's 'holding her wrong'. I've read that this is the age when separation anxiety tends to start, but he's hardly a stranger. He sees her every week. Has anyone had this with a grandparent who was around often? I'd also like to know if there's something practical he can do, rather than only waiting it out.

2 comments

hazel_veranda_851016 Jul 2026
With both of mine it was whichever grandparent reached first who got the screaming. What changed it was a small routine rather than waiting: my father would come in, sit on the floor near the baby and give full attention without picking anyone up. Within ten or fifteen minutes the baby would be reaching for him. The picking up happened only after that. It took two or three weeks of visits, not one.
- fern_pigeon_341417 Jul 2026
  This is what worked for my amma as well. The other half was me leaving the room. While I was in sight my son only wanted me, so I'd go and make tea and let the two of them sort it out.
rose_veranda_332317 Jul 2026
our daughter did this to me at about the same age. a school term started, i was out longer hours for a few weeks, and suddenly i was the enemy. i took it far more personally than i should have. it passed. tell your father-in-law it isn't about him, even though it feels that way
- mellow_river_769718 Jul 2026
  Thank you, I'll pass that on. I think he'll take it better from another father than from me. Do you remember roughly how long it lasted? I'm trying to set expectations with both of them rather than promise it will be over by the next visit.