Her convocation is next month at her college in another city. She starts a job soon after and says it's a waste of a flight for us: two hours of names being read out and a photo in a hired gown. I'd like to go. My partner says respect what she wants. I can't tell whether she means it, or whether she's saying it so we don't spend the money. How did you read this with your own kids?
I'd ask her once more, in a way that makes yes easy to say. Something like "we'd enjoy it, but only if you'd like us there." My daughter is 13, so this is from my own convocation, not hers: I told my parents not to come, they listened, and I regretted it for years.
I sit in the faculty row at convocations every year. The students who said "don't come" are very often the ones scanning the hall. Ask once more, gently, like you said.
Is there a way to make it less about the ceremony? If you plan a day with her in that city, lunch, see where she lived, help her pack up, the convocation becomes one part of a visit rather than the reason for the flight. She may find that easier to agree to.
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