Working Parents & Childcare

Both our jobs finish late without warning, and the caregiver leaves at 7

juniper_trail_9892

Our baby is two months old. The caregiver is with us 9 to 7 and has her own family to get back to, which is fair. My release testing is supposed to wrap by 6. Tonight it wrapped at 8.40. My partner works in finance and month-end runs late too, so some weeks it's a coin toss over who walks away from their desk mid-task. Today it was my partner, again. Third time in two weeks. For couples where both jobs have unpredictable finish times: do you fix days, keep a backup person on call, or just keep negotiating at 5 pm?

3 comments

  • pebble_spoon_291

    We fix days. Monday and Wednesday are mine to leave on time no matter what, Tuesday and Thursday are my partner's. Friday is whoever loses the argument. It only works because it sits on both our work calendars as a recurring meeting. People respect a meeting far more than 'I need to leave' ❤️

    • moss_marigold_6629

      the recurring meeting trick works. still use it for school events, years later

    • juniper_trail_9892

      fixed days would suit my partner. my problem is releases don't care whose day it is. if testing fails at 5 on my day, i'm not the one deciding when it ends

    • indigo_trail_4041

      Replying to @juniper_trail_9892

      Then you need a third person for those nights, not a better split. When our daughter was small, my mother-in-law was on standby two evenings a week, paid in auto fare and dinner 🙂 Most weeks she wasn't even needed, kaani just knowing she was there took the fight out of release nights.

    • lagoon_violin_7015

      Replying to @indigo_trail_4041

      Something similar worked for us, except ours was a neighbour's college-going daughter who wanted pocket money. Two evenings a week, and she came only if we messaged by 5. It took more pressure off us than any calendar did ❤️

  • moss_drum_5488

    Similar here. Partner's clinic runs over and my lectures are fixed. We picked a daycare that stays open till 8, mainly for those nights. Costs more, but no 5 pm negotiations. Worth a look once she's old enough.

  • gentle_window_3161

    Ask the caregiver if she'd do one late evening a week for extra pay, fixed in advance. Ours said yes to Thursdays. Not perfect 🤷 but it covers the worst day.

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