Another mother messaged me about a classroom incident and her version is nothing like my son's

lagoon_lantern_19622 Oct 2026

Yesterday evening I got a long message from the mother of a boy in my son's class. According to her, my son pushed her son during the activity period and then laughed about it. According to my son, who is 10, the other boy grabbed his notebook, they both tugged, and both of them fell against the bench. He wasn't laughing, he was embarrassed. I wasn't there and neither was she. I don't want to call either child a liar, and I really don't want this to become a back and forth in WhatsApp where we each defend our own child paragraph by paragraph. I haven't replied yet. I'd like to say something kind and short that doesn't accept her version or argue with it. How have you handled this kind of message?

4 comments

ochre_chai_448023 Oct 2026
Have you informed the class teacher? Since it happened in school, she is the one who actually saw the room.
mango_notebook_650323 Oct 2026
My first thought is don't reply tonight if you are upset. With my son we had something similar last year and I wrote three drafts before sending one. The one I sent was basically: sorry to hear he was hurt, my son remembers it differently, let's both ask the teacher. Nothing more than that.
- lagoon_lantern_19623 Oct 2026
  That middle line is exactly what I was struggling to word. "Remembers it differently" doesn't call anyone a liar, and pointing both of us to the teacher takes it out of the chat. Did she accept that, or did she keep going?
- silver_marigold_722624 Oct 2026
  Replying to @lagoon_lantern_196
  in my experience they always keep going for one more message. you don't have to answer that one
breezy_spoon_496723 Oct 2026
Call her, don't type.
mint_kettle_750424 Oct 2026
short reply, no details. anything you write in detail will get forwarded to someone eventually