Working Parents & Childcare

8 year old says she's too big to be looked after by her brother's nanny

teal_camera_9497

Our caregiver comes mainly for the little one and covers our daughter after school too. Till now no problem. This month the 8 year old has announced that didi is 'his nanny, not mine' and she won't listen to her about homework or screen time. She'd rather sit alone in her room till I'm back. I can't leave her on her own, and I don't want two caregivers. Aai says just be strict. Did your older kid go through this, and what changed it?

5 comments

  • sunny_spoon_2098

    no older kid here but my 5 yr old already says he's 'too big' for his car seat. starts early apparently

  • lagoon_violin_7015

    Our daughter did this around 8 too. What worked for us was giving her a different arrangement with the caregiver from her little brother's: she decided when she did her homework, and the caregiver was simply around rather than supervising. Once she didn't feel lumped in with the baby, the battles dropped a lot. Took a few weeks ❤

  • silver_quilt_337

    Speaking as someone who works in a school: children that age respond far better to a routine they helped write than to an adult reminding them. Put homework and screen time on paper with her, and let her sign it. Then didi isn't the one saying no. The paper is.

  • juniper_violin_6378

    Ours said the same about his grandmother at 9. Looking back, I think it was about dignity more than freedom. He wanted to be spoken to like an older child. When she started asking him to help with small things for his younger cousins, it softened.

    • teal_camera_9497

      Dignity is the right word for it. She does like helping with her brother, when it's her idea. Will ask didi to give her a job or two instead of instructions and see 😊

  • juniper_bottle_5973

    my 11 yr old did this. now he's the one bossing the nanny about his sister's snacks. phase

    • clove_pillow_4301

      With my shifts my son is with his grandmother most evenings. He is seven and he also started saying he is big now. Ours is a joint family so I can't say about nanny, but it became easier when his grandmother stopped checking his school bag and let him show her himself.

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