Our 9 year old wants to know why we don't have a car like everyone else

banyan_kite_316815 Jun 2026

We sold our car three years ago and haven't missed it. We live close to school, use autos and cabs for everything else, and rent one for the occasional trip. It was a deliberate choice and money had nothing to do with it. This week our daughter asked, quite seriously, whether we are poor. A friend had asked her why her parents never drive her anywhere. With my partner not working this year, I suspect she has put two and two together and got five. I'd like to explain it honestly without a lecture on traffic and pollution, which is exactly what I'll end up giving if I don't plan it. How have others handled 'are we poor' when the answer is no?

3 comments

mango_bottle_405615 Jun 2026
We got the 'are we poor' question the summer we didn't go abroad and his friends did. What worked better than explaining was showing him where the money goes. Rent, school, the things we chose instead. He was quite interested, and it stopped being a mystery. At 9 it would be simpler, but the idea is the same ♥
fern_bottle_488415 Jun 2026
Is it one friend asking, or is she being teased about it? Find that out first. If it's teasing, an explanation isn't what she needs.
cobalt_lantern_641215 Jun 2026
There are two different questions here. 'Are we poor' needs a short, clear no, today, so she isn't carrying that around. 'Why no car' can be a longer conversation, and may go better if she feels part of the choice, for example deciding together what the cab money gets used for. Has the friend asked again, or was it a one-off? If it keeps coming up, she may want a simple line she can say back.