Our 3 year old will only eat what she serves herself. About half reaches the plate

peach_compass_902023 Jul 2026

For the last few weeks our daughter has refused food that anyone else puts on her plate. She wants the serving spoon, the vessel, everything. When she serves herself she eats well, rice, sambar, even beans. When we serve, the plate gets pushed away. The trouble is the table and floor after every meal, and the hot dishes. We tried giving her a small bowl of each item to serve from, but she wants the same vessels we use. Is this a phase that passes on its own, or is there some middle ground with less mess?

2 comments

plum_puzzle_301023 Jul 2026
Our daughter went through this too, though a little older than yours. What worked for us was keeping the hot dishes on our side but letting her serve the cool ones from the real vessels: curd rice, salad, the dry curry once it had cooled. She got her vessels, we got fewer burns. A steel tray under her plate caught most of the rest.
amber_marigold_606824 Jul 2026
my daughter did this at three and now, in middle school, won't eat anything i've plated because i 'never do it right'. so it passes, and then it comes back in another form. a tray under the plate helps with the floor at least.
- sage_trail_378924 Jul 2026
  Ha, the comeback is real. Our 2 year old is in the serving phase right now and the 10 year old is in the 'why did you put the dal there' phase. Same table, both ends.