Our 14 year old wants to learn to cook, and her ajji won't let her near the stove

plum_puzzle_301021 May 2026

She's decided she wants to be able to make a full meal by the end of the year: rice, a dal, one sabzi, chapatis. Lovely. The problem is my mother, who lives with us and has run our kitchen for fifteen years. Every attempt ends with ajji taking the ladle away 'just for a second' and finishing it herself. My daughter comes out fuming, my mother says she was only helping, and I'm in the middle trying to be kind to both. I don't want to take the kitchen away from my mother; it matters to her. But my daughter has started saying there's no point. Has anyone found a way to share a kitchen across generations without someone feeling pushed out? ❤

2 comments

saffron_violin_390221 May 2026
Could ajji be the teacher instead of the backup cook? My mother-in-law was the same until we asked her to teach my son her sambar, step by step, with her not allowed to touch anything. She took the job very seriously. He still calls it her recipe. It also went better on afternoons when nobody was hungry and waiting.
plum_camera_119022 May 2026
We have a version of this. My partner's at home this year and the kitchen is very much hers, so the kids get help whether they want it or not. One thing that sort of works: a fixed slot. Sunday breakfast belongs to our older one and nobody goes in unless called. Early days, and so far it's the same egg dish every week.