My partner tutors our 7 year old at home, and she has started saying 'you're not my teacher'

mint_compass_28269 Jul 2026

My partner is home this year on a break from work and offered to sit with our older daughter for 40 minutes after school. Reading, a bit of maths practice, nothing heavy. The younger one joins in with colouring. The first two weeks went well. Now every session starts with an argument. The older one says her teacher does it differently, that she isn't my partner's student, and once, that she will 'tell her real teacher'. My partner is losing patience, and I come home to two people not speaking to each other. Is this just what happens when a parent teaches their own child, or is there a way of doing it that works? We would rather not hire a tutor for a 7 year old if we can avoid it.

4 comments

maple_trail_7279 Jul 2026
This was our house when our son was in class 2, and that's the only experience I can offer. The arguments stopped when my partner stopped calling it a lesson and did the same work as a game at the dining table, with no fixed time. Whether that would work with a child who has already decided it is a lesson, I don't know. We did hire a tutor eventually, but not until class 6, and only for maths.
cobalt_spoon_26329 Jul 2026
The 'my teacher does it differently' line got us too. What helped a bit was asking her to teach it to us the way her teacher does. She loved being the expert, and I quietly learnt what the school method was. Doesn't fix everything though 🙂
- moss_kite_79919 Jul 2026
  We do the same with our daughter. The one risk is that she starts correcting how you do everything else. Our dinner table now has an official method for rolling chapatis.
moss_pigeon_25059 Jul 2026
Forty minutes at 7, after a full school day, is long. Make it twenty. And let her choose which of the two things she does first.
violet_puzzle_822110 Jul 2026
mine never once listened to me for studies. listened to her aunt just fine. maybe swap with a relative or a neighbour for a while
- mint_compass_282610 Jul 2026
  That's worth trying. My sister-in-law lives ten minutes away and has offered before. Maybe one day a week with her, and we'll see whether the problem is the subject or the person.