Working Parents & Childcare

my 6 year old asked my partner, not me, if she could go down to the play area alone

plum_camera_5374

found out at dinner. she'd asked, my partner said yes as long as she comes back up by 6, and she'd already been down twice this week. nobody thought to mention it to me because it wasn't a big decision for them. it isn't a big decision really. she's 6, the play area is inside the building, the security guard knows her. what's bothering me is that since my partner started the career break i'm the one who hears everything a day late. i leave at 9, back by 7, and the small rules get made while i'm in client reviews. not looking for a fix, mostly wondering if other working parents went through this when the other one was home more. did it settle, or did you have to set up some kind of handover?

3 comments

  • silver_badminton_5368

    We have the same arrangement at home, my partner on a break and me at the clinic till late. It did not settle by itself. What helped was a ten-minute chat after the children sleep, only about what changed that day: new rules, school messages, anything she was allowed or not allowed. On the play area question itself, I would have said yes too at 6, inside the building. The part that would bother me is the same as yours, finding out after.

  • apricot_compass_7834

    My son is only 1 so nothing like this yet. But my partner has longer hospital hours than I do and we already have the same gap. Do you want a say before, or just to know the same day?

  • teal_violin_2056

    this is very familiar from the other direction. my partner's evening calls mean i make most of the small calls at home with our baby and then feel like i'm reporting to someone who missed the meeting. the late update stings on both sides i think

    • plum_camera_5374

      that's a fair point, i hadn't thought about how it feels from the one who's home. honestly i think i just want to know the same day, not approve everything. going to try the ten minute thing from the other comment and see if it sticks past the first week

Add a comment

Share what happened for you. Plain text; be kind and specific.

Keep going

Keep reading

More from the parents who were here.