Leadership dinners twice a month, and no one at home to take over in the evenings

fern_gecko_113125 Jul 2026

I head an engineering team, and our leadership group has started meeting over dinner twice a month. They begin at 7.30 and run late. My daughter is four, I'm the only adult at home, and my caregiver leaves at 7. I've missed the last three. Nobody has said anything, but I can see decisions being shaped at those dinners that I only hear about the next morning. I can pay for extra hours now and then. I'm less sure about doing it twice a month, or about her going to bed without me that often. How have others handled evening work events that matter but aren't officially required?

2 comments

olive_sandal_193025 Jul 2026
I skipped most department dinners when my son was small, and chose the few I went to carefully: the ones before budget or hiring decisions. One a month was enough to stay in the loop. It also helped to send a short note to the group before a dinner I'd miss, with my view on whatever was coming up.
- basil_diary_110425 Jul 2026
  I'd question the premise a little. If decisions are being made at dinners that some leaders can't attend, that's a problem with how the group works, not with your evenings. Worth raising with whoever runs it, rather than paying for extra care twice a month to work around it.
- violet_compass_137125 Jul 2026
  The note before a missed dinner is such a good idea. I go to one evening a quarter and plan it like a work trip, care booked weeks ahead. The girls know that one is 'Mumma's dinner' ♥
pebble_wave_87425 Jul 2026
My evenings are easy right now only because my partner's on a career break, and this made me realise how much I take that for granted. One thing our department did after a colleague raised the same issue: alternate the evening meet with a lunch. Might be worth suggesting.