Partner has a regular job with leave rules. My work is a small design studio of my own. So when one of the kids has a fever, or school shuts for rain, the assumption is that I'll stay home because I'm 'flexible'. I'm not. I just don't have a manager to say no to. The client reviews still happen, and I end up doing the work at night. How do other couples split this when one job looks more flexible on paper?
We had the reverse. My partner assumed my office job was the easy one to step away from because the hours were predictable. What helped was writing down, for a normal week, which hours each of us truly couldn't move. Mine turned out to be the morning standups and two afternoons; my partner's were most afternoons. Sick days get split by that list now, not by whose job sounds flexible.
From the other side: I'm the one with the 'regular job', and I did this to my partner for a couple of years without noticing. What changed it was agreeing that the first sick day goes to whoever has the lighter calendar that particular day, decided the night before, not to whoever is assumed to be flexible. It only works if both calendars are visible to each other. Do the two of you share calendars at the moment?
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