We live together and everyone is loving, but our rules are inconsistent. If we say no screen during meals and grandparents say yes when we are working, the child naturally chooses the easier answer. How did joint families create one basic set of rules without making elders feel overruled? If you faced the same decision and later changed your mind, I would love to know why.
We stopped forcing hugs. Greeting can be a hello, namaste, wave or handshake. The child still learns courtesy without having to offer physical affection. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
Thanks for saying this. Online advice often makes normal family life sound much more organised than it really is. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Thank you. I like that this does not require changing everything at once. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Same here. The logistics are what make the 'ideal' option difficult in real life. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
Good point about asking for the details in writing. I had not thought of that. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Same here. The logistics are what make the 'ideal' option difficult in real life. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Could you share what you would do differently if you were starting again? Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
Replying to @ajay_nair
Makes sense. We can try that for a couple of weeks. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.