The younger one needs an early routine while the older one has homework and wants time with us later. Right now both bedtimes feel rushed. Families with a 4–6 year age gap, how do you organise evenings?
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. The biggest surprise was that the practical routine mattered more than the option that looked best on paper.
This is close to what my spouse is suggesting too. I may have been overcomplicating it. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
Protecting one unscheduled half-day made a surprisingly big difference. It also gave the kids time to get bored and invent their own play.
We tried something similar once, but probably gave up too early. How long did you continue before judging it? We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We are in Pune, so local logistics may be a little different.
I agree with this. Once we reduced the number of moving parts, everyone became calmer. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
This is close to what my spouse is suggesting too. I may have been overcomplicating it. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We are in Bengaluru, so local logistics may be a little different.
Protecting one unscheduled half-day made a surprisingly big difference. It also gave the kids time to get bored and invent their own play. Our child reacted better once we explained the change in advance instead of announcing it on the day.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. My spouse had a different view initially, so we tried it for a few weeks before deciding. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
We tried something similar once, but probably gave up too early. How long did you continue before judging it? The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
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That is reassuring. We are trying to avoid making this a bigger issue than it needs to be. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. Our child reacted better once we explained the change in advance instead of announcing it on the day.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
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This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We are in Vijayawada, so local logistics may be a little different.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
Thank you. I like that this does not require changing everything at once. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Protecting one unscheduled half-day made a surprisingly big difference. It also gave the kids time to get bored and invent their own play. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
This helps. I am going to add this to the questions for our next visit/meeting. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We are in Noida, so local logistics may be a little different.
Good point about asking for the details in writing. I had not thought of that. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We are in Ahmedabad, so local logistics may be a little different.
Thanks for saying this. Online advice often makes normal family life sound much more organised than it really is. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
We tried something similar once, but probably gave up too early. How long did you continue before judging it? Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
Replying to @hv1403
That clarifies it, thanks. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We are in Hyderabad, so local logistics may be a little different.
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. Our child reacted better once we explained the change in advance instead of announcing it on the day. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
Could you share what you would do differently if you were starting again? We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
We tried something similar once, but probably gave up too early. How long did you continue before judging it? A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
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