We live together and everyone is loving, but our rules are inconsistent. If we say no screen during meals and grandparents say yes when we are working, the child naturally chooses the easier answer. How did joint families create one basic set of rules without making elders feel overruled?
We stopped forcing hugs. Greeting can be a hello, namaste, wave or handshake. The child still learns courtesy without having to offer physical affection. My spouse had a different view initially, so we tried it for a few weeks before deciding.
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
I agree with this. Once we reduced the number of moving parts, everyone became calmer. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Did your child take time to adjust, or was the improvement fairly quick? A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
We try to discuss disagreements away from the children and present one answer. We are not always successful, but it stopped the 'ask the other parent' loop. We are in Chennai and this came up for us last year.
Thanks for saying this. Online advice often makes normal family life sound much more organised than it really is. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We are in Pune, so local logistics may be a little different.
Good point about asking for the details in writing. I had not thought of that. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
We stopped forcing hugs. Greeting can be a hello, namaste, wave or handshake. The child still learns courtesy without having to offer physical affection. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. The biggest surprise was that the practical routine mattered more than the option that looked best on paper. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
We stopped forcing hugs. Greeting can be a hello, namaste, wave or handshake. The child still learns courtesy without having to offer physical affection. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. Our child reacted better once we explained the change in advance instead of announcing it on the day. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
Can I ask roughly what age/class your child was when you tried this? Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We are in Madurai, so local logistics may be a little different.
Thank you. I like that this does not require changing everything at once. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
Thanks for saying this. Online advice often makes normal family life sound much more organised than it really is. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We are in Indore, so local logistics may be a little different.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
With grandparents, specific rules worked better than a long parenting philosophy. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and let smaller things go. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
We stopped forcing hugs. Greeting can be a hello, namaste, wave or handshake. The child still learns courtesy without having to offer physical affection. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We are in Kochi, so local logistics may be a little different.
This is useful, thank you. The practical detail is exactly what I was looking for. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.