School & Teens

13 year old's teacher read out marks to the class, and she doesn't want me to say anything

lagoon_pebble_9901

My daughter is in class 8. Mid-term papers came back last week and the teacher read every child's marks aloud, subject by subject. She did well in most, badly in Hindi, and the whole class heard. She came home quiet and only told me two days later. Her one condition is that I don't complain, because then everyone will know it was her mother. Our elder son went through school without this ever coming up, so I have no reference point. Do I leave it, or is there a way to raise it without it landing on her?

4 comments

  • maple_balcony_8145

    That's the tradeoff, and I don't think there's a clean answer. If you raise it, there's a chance it gets traced back to her. If you don't, she sits through the next round of results the same way. If it were my son, I'd probably wait for the PTM and ask how results are usually shared, as a general question rather than a complaint about one day.

  • mint_compass_2826

    One detail that matters: was this a one-time thing with this set of papers, or does it happen after every test? A teacher doing it once in a hurry and a class routine are different conversations.

  • dusk_sparrow_2001

    My daughter is only 6 and her class puts stars on a chart by name, so a much smaller version of this. Even there she notices who has fewer. Reading this, I'm realising I should ask her how she feels about it before it turns into marks ❤️

  • cedar_gecko_5897

    I'd go with her condition for now, and tell her that you're doing it. That she told you at all, even two days later, is worth protecting. If it happens again, you can talk with her then about what she'd be comfortable with.

    • basil_sandal_2278

      I'd do the same. Our 13 year old asked something similar of me last year about a different matter. We agreed I'd wait, and that if it kept happening he'd let me ask a general question at the PTM. It did keep happening, and in the end he was the one who suggested I bring it up.

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