11 year old insisted on applying to a selective school for Grade 7. How do I prepare her for a no?

moss_veranda_82929 Oct 2026

Our daughter is 11. She's mostly happy at her current IB school. A friend of hers is applying to a well-known school for Grade 7, and now she wants to apply too. There's a written test in maths and English, and from what other parents say, far more children apply than get in. I'm fine with her trying. I travel for work and my partner's hours are fixed, so I'll be the one sitting with her through this. What I'm unsure about is the other end. She takes small setbacks hard, and if she doesn't get through, I don't want her deciding she's "bad at maths" from one paper. Has anyone been through an entrance test like this at 11 or 12? How did you talk about it before, and after?

1 comment

ivory_kettle_43979 Oct 2026
I haven't been through a selective test with either of mine, so take this as an outsider's view. I'd ask the school for a sample paper or topic list early. Knowing what kind of questions to expect takes away a lot of the shock on the day. On before and after: my older daughter is 13, and what helped with a placement test last year was saying, more than once, that a test tells you whether a school fits, not whether she's clever. It sounded a bit rehearsed to me. She repeated it back to me later, so something landed.
- moss_veranda_82929 Oct 2026
  That's useful, thank you. Their email only says "maths and English, Grade 6 level", so a topic list would help both of us. I'll ask after the holidays. And I like the fit framing. I was about to go with "it doesn't matter", which she would see straight through.
- moss_veranda_829210 Oct 2026
  Talked to her over breakfast and asked what she'd do if she didn't get in. Her answer: "stay with my friends here and be annoyed for a week." Better than anything I'd prepared.