1 year old feeds herself at home. At daycare she's spoon-fed and 'eats very little'

fern_pigeon_560221 Oct 2026

At home our daughter has been feeding herself for about two months: soft idli pieces, rice and dal with her fingers, banana. It is messy, but she finishes a full plate and clearly enjoys being in charge of it. At daycare, understandably, the staff spoon-feed the younger group, because it is quicker and there is far less to clean up. She has started turning her head away from the spoon, and for two weeks the daily note has said 'ate very little'. Her teacher has now suggested a heavier breakfast. I may be wrong that the spoon is the reason; that is my guess, not something I have seen. I am not asking anyone to sit with her one-on-one at lunch. I would like to understand what is reasonable to ask for. Has anyone agreed something like this with their centre, for example letting her pick up a few pieces herself at one meal, and how did you raise it without sounding critical of the staff?

4 comments

lemon_kite_443221 Oct 2026
I would separate two requests when you raise it: whether they can let her feed herself for part of one meal, and whether they can stop spoon-feeding her altogether. The first is a small change, the second is a staff-time change, and centres find the first much easier to agree to. My daughter is twelve now, so this is from some years ago, but the request that worked for us was the small, specific one.
rose_gecko_208421 Oct 2026
Turns away from the spoon, clears the plate when she's in charge. That sounds like a kid who knows exactly what she wants 😄 Ours did a version of this with being carried. Might be less of a problem than it feels.
velvet_wave_272721 Oct 2026
From the other side of a classroom (older children, but the same arithmetic): one adult with six or eight toddlers at lunch means spoon-feeding is how everyone gets fed before nap time. If you do ask, offer something that doesn't add work, like sending finger food already cut small in her own box, so all they have to do is put it in front of her.
mellow_drum_687421 Oct 2026
What exactly does 'ate very little' tell you? If she is hungry at pickup and eats a big dinner, she is making up for it and the daycare lunch isn't doing much harm. I'd watch it for a couple of weeks, with a note of what she eats at home, before asking anyone to change.