Two conferences in the same week of May, and we're both being far too polite about whose matters more

My paper has been accepted at a conference in the third week of May. Yesterday we found out that a medical meeting my partner has been asked to speak at falls in the same week, in a different city. Our daughter's summer break will have just started, so there's no school routine to lean on, and the nearest grandparents are a flight away. Neither trip is strictly unmissable, and I can feel us both being very polite about it. How have other couples settled this kind of clash without it turning into a tally of whose career has given way more often?