The daycare staff know our baby better than I do, and they talk to my partner, not me

gentle_lantern_344219 Aug 2026

My partner does most drop-offs and every pickup, because my theatre lists never end on time. Today I made a 5 pm pickup for once, and the teacher handed him over and then asked me to tell my partner about a change in his feeds. She didn't mean anything by it. It still stung. They know his routine, which song settles him, how he likes to be held for a burp. I know the version of him I get at 9 pm. Not sure what I'm asking. Did this even out for anyone as the baby got older, or did you have to make a point of being the contact for some things

3 comments

amber_piano_803719 Aug 2026
I'm the default at our daycare for the same reason, my partner is a doctor. What helped was my partner taking over one fixed thing, the monthly parent meeting and the medicine forms. Small, but the staff started going to my partner for those.
sunny_compass_409020 Aug 2026
it shifted for me when she started school. the teachers there didn't know either of us, so it was a fresh start. through the daycare years i was 'the one who comes on fridays'
rose_pigeon_663323 Aug 2026
I'm on the other end of this: I do the pickups, and I've been asked to 'pass this on to amma' more times than I can count. I think staff go to whoever they saw last. Writing to them yourself, even a two-line message about the feeding change, might shift who they think of first.