The issue is obviously not the toy anymore. We are constantly refereeing small fights and asking 'who had it first'. Parents of two young kids, what reduced the daily competition and what advice sounded good but did nothing? We have spoken to a couple of parents offline too, but the answers are very mixed.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. My spouse had a different view initially, so we tried it for a few weeks before deciding.
Good point about asking for the details in writing. I had not thought of that. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. We are in Gurugram and this came up for us last year.
Can I ask roughly what age/class your child was when you tried this? We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We are in Pune, so local logistics may be a little different.
Replying to @uv2689
Exactly the kind of detail I needed.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house.
We tried something similar once, but probably gave up too early. How long did you continue before judging it? The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
Thanks for saying this. Online advice often makes normal family life sound much more organised than it really is. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
Good point about asking for the details in writing. I had not thought of that. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We are in Hyderabad, so local logistics may be a little different.
Thank you. I like that this does not require changing everything at once. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
Thanks for saying this. Online advice often makes normal family life sound much more organised than it really is. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
I try to respond to advice with 'we'll think about it' instead of debating in the moment. Then we make the decision privately.
Same here. The logistics are what make the 'ideal' option difficult in real life. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
I agree with this. Once we reduced the number of moving parts, everyone became calmer. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
Interesting — we had assumed the opposite. Helpful to hear a first-hand experience. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We are in Chandigarh, so local logistics may be a little different.
Good point about asking for the details in writing. I had not thought of that. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
This helps. I am going to add this to the questions for our next visit/meeting. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. In our house, the practical routine mattered more than the ideal plan.
Thank you. I like that this does not require changing everything at once. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. We are in Mysuru and this came up for us last year.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.