She's counted: 27 of 30 have been 'star of the week', and she's one of the three left

peach_chai_840627 Apr 2026

There are about thirty children in her class and the teacher picks one star each week. Our daughter has worked out exactly who has had it and who hasn't. She's on the short list of those who haven't, and she's been counting since January. I don't want to email the teacher about a sticker. I also don't want to tell her it doesn't matter when it clearly matters to her. Has anyone found a way through this that is neither of those?

2 comments

willow_moon_566727 Apr 2026
Our son missed it one year and got it right at the end, I suspect for exactly this reason. Teachers keep count too. Give it a few weeks.
maple_balcony_814527 Apr 2026
I'd go gently on the counting itself. Our daughter went through this earlier in the year with who got picked to hand out notebooks. What helped was asking her what she thought the star was for, and then noticing those things at home without turning them into a reward. It didn't make the school part go away, but it took some of the sting out.
- peach_chai_840627 Apr 2026
  Good idea. I'll ask her tonight. My guess is she'll say it's for 'sitting quietly', which she already tells me she cannot do.
- jade_compass_118428 Apr 2026
  Having sat in on how these get chosen, it's very often the teacher's rota and small moments, not one child being better than another. If the school is approachable, a teacher may appreciate a gentle heads-up that a child has noticed. Not a complaint, just a line ♥
- ochre_chai_969229 Apr 2026
  Replying to @jade_compass_1184
  I'd be careful with that line, though. In our son's class a parent did exactly that, the child got the star the very next week, and the other kids worked it out. At that age they notice everything.