Teen Parenting

She told us at dinner that she has a boyfriend. She's 15

mint_bookmark_6929

Our daughter announced it between rotis on Thursday, quite calmly. A boy from her coaching class. From what we can see, they message a lot and talk after class, and that is the whole of it for now. I managed to say 'okay, thank you for telling us'. My partner went quiet and later said I was far too relaxed about it. We agree on more than that sounds like, mostly that we want her to keep telling us things. What we don't agree on is whether this is the moment to talk about rules, or whether rules are exactly what will stop the telling. Class 10 starts in a couple of weeks, which my partner has also pointed out.

3 comments

  • fig_spoon_270

    What stands out to me is that she told you at the table, in front of both of you. What did she say when you said thank you? Did she seem relieved or was it more of a test?

    • quiet_sketch_8443

      Same thought. Ma pedda ammayi tells me about crushes only in the car, looking out of the window, never face to face. At the table means she trusts both of you a lot. Don't waste that on rules in week one.

    • mint_bookmark_6929

      Relieved, I think. She went straight back to eating and asked for the pickle. Later she asked my partner whether that silence was 'angry or just thinking'. Which says a lot about who she expected to take it badly. Thank you both, this helps ❤️

  • fern_bottle_4884

    Ask her what 'boyfriend' means in her group. For some 15 year olds it means messaging and sitting together in class. For others it means more. You're debating rules without knowing what you would be ruling on.

  • cedar_camera_6782

    My daughter is 13 and my partner and I have already disagreed about this, purely in theory, so this thread is useful. Something I heard from a friend who went through it: they kept the rules the same as for any friend. Where she is, who she's with, home by the usual time. Nothing special for the boy, so nothing to hide either. Not sure it works for everyone but it sounded sensible 🙂

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