she keeps saying she didn't get her turn at school, nothing more

mellow_trail_4020

my daughter is 5. for about two weeks now, most evenings, she says "i didn't get my turn". that's all. could be the swing, could be answering in class, could be the snack line. i ask and she changes the subject. i'd rather not be the parent messaging the teacher every night or guess wrong and make it bigger than it is. if i get to ask one question, what would actually tell me something

9 comments

    • mellow_trail_4020

      that's the thing, she won't say. i've tried swing, line, snack, she just shrugs

  • peach_chai_8406

    If you ask whether she gets turns, the answer will almost always be yes. A more useful question might be which activity she has been talking about at home, and whether there's a rotation for it. The tradeoff is that it takes the teacher longer to answer, so you may not hear back the same day.

  • lilac_camera_2365

    With my grandson the complaint turned out to be about class helper duty, which went by roll number. He had not had a turn for weeks simply because of where his name fell. We only learnt that by asking how turns were decided, not whether he was getting them.

    • mellow_trail_4020

      how turns are decided. that's a much better way to put it than what i'd drafted

  • bronze_moon_4185

    we had a few weeks of "nobody lets me" at 4. i never found out what it was. it just stopped one day, and i still don't know if anything changed at school

    • mellow_trail_4020

      that's sort of what i'm afraid of, never knowing 🥲

  • willow_window_9575

    Ask the teacher if she has seen her waiting a lot. Teachers notice. Short question, she can answer in one line.

  • peach_fern_4745

    We had something similar with our son at 5. I would separate what you know from what you're guessing: you know she is upset about turns, you don't yet know which activity. I asked the teacher which part of the day he seemed most frustrated in, and that narrowed it down.

    • mellow_trail_4020

      i like that. it doesn't ask her to investigate anything, just to notice

  • amber_camera_6736

    Mine said almost the same thing for a while in kindergarten. I asked his teacher one thing, whether he was raising his hand and not getting picked. Turned out he was, a lot, and she started giving him the attendance job twice a week. He stopped mentioning it after that.

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