We keep undermining each other in small ways and now our child asks each parent separately until someone says yes. How do couples get aligned on rules without discussing every tiny decision in front of the child?
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. Our child reacted better once we explained the change in advance instead of announcing it on the day. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
That is reassuring. We are trying to avoid making this a bigger issue than it needs to be. Discussing it away from the children reduced the back-and-forth. We only reached that conclusion after trying the other approach first.
A small amount of one-to-one time reduced sibling competition more than buying duplicate toys ever did in our house. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. I would still test it for a short period before making a long commitment.
I agree with this. Once we reduced the number of moving parts, everyone became calmer. We picked the two boundaries that mattered most and relaxed about smaller differences. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
I agree with this. Once we reduced the number of moving parts, everyone became calmer. We are still not perfect at this, but the arguments are much shorter now. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
This is close to what my spouse is suggesting too. I may have been overcomplicating it. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. We made the change gradually rather than all at once.
We stopped forcing hugs. Greeting can be a hello, namaste, wave or handshake. The child still learns courtesy without having to offer physical affection. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
I try to respond to advice with 'we'll think about it' instead of debating in the moment. Then we make the decision privately. We are in Hyderabad and this came up for us last year.
That makes sense. I think consistency is the part we are currently missing. The rule became easier once all adults used the same answer. Your child's response may be different, but this was our experience.
Protecting one unscheduled half-day made a surprisingly big difference. It also gave the kids time to get bored and invent their own play. We changed our approach after about a month because the first plan was too hard to sustain. A little predictable one-to-one time changed the mood more than we expected. We are in Hyderabad, so local logistics may be a little different.